Sunday, September 16, 2007

Exhaustion

Exhaustion has set in. I had every intention of going to church this morning. A new Sunday School class started last week on exactly what my church believes and why. The first class was wonderful and I really wanted to go to the second one. So I told Mama to wake me up. She did. I couldn't get out of bed. I could barely open my eyes and didn't even try to move. Stayed in bed until 11:30 when I could finally scrape up enough energy to stand upright and put one foot in front of the other.

The reason is one 30 hour work week. I'm not capable of pulling a 30 hour work week. I haven't been for over a year, because of my fibromyalgia. I'm telling myself it was because this was my first week, I needed the experience as part of my training, etc. I really hope that's the case, but at the same time I don't believe it is. HL is short-handed, and it almost feels as if I'm the one being used to fill in the gap and I just can't do that.

It wasn't a problem getting the time off to go to conference next week, since I was up front about that in the interview and told him about both my trips before I was offered the job. Part of the deal is two evenings a week and every other Saturday. I don't have a problem with that. What I have a problem with is being told I am expected to give more than I've got to give.

I'm currently scheduled to work an 8 hour shift Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. On top of being flat out exhausted from this past week, and I still have to pack. I quite literally did nothing today. Only checked my email twice all day, which is a sure sign that I don't feel good. So I'm taking matters into my own hands and being very upfront and honest with the boss.

Tomorrow I'm going to repeat that I can only work 25 hours at most per week, and I'm going to see if one of my shifts this coming week can be shortened. I cannot go to conference the way I feel right now, and with the way I'm scheduled, the way I feel will just get worse between now and Thursday. When I'm this tired, my brain shuts down. 24 hours of working in retail in a period of 3 days is more than my body can handle right now. The nature of fibro is progressive, this is not a situation that will get better with time. If I don't pace myself properly, it'll get worse faster, and I'm trying to prevent that.

If I continue to be given more than hours than I've asked for and continue to be expected to work 30 hour weeks, I will leave and find something else. I absolutely flat out refuse to sacrifice my health for anyone, anything or any job. That's why I left KH. And I'll leave HL too. I've sacrificed health and sanity for a job before and I will NEVER do it again.

Please pray that Mr. Robert will be receptive and that he will listen to what I have to say and that he will act on it. I will not sacrifice my health for a job. Period.

1 comment :

  1. Will definitely be praying for you. I want you to have energy and be able to enjoy the conference!

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